I just really want to find and be able to find a nice balance of myself. Its hard for me though. I feel im so capable of dynamics that is hard to gauge myself down. Even in attempts as I do such things I fell like I suppress myself. I just want to figure a level that I can continue as good without compromising my truth’s. I just have a hard figure, Differentiating for myself the line between my Truth and my progression above it. I guess I dont know how to leave it behind. I feel an ignorance to how to represent my self above ignorance, when my derives are from so much ignorance. how can I express myself above crazy when I’ve derived from craziness! when, If Ever, can I declare myself to be GOOD, when Im from so much BAD?
At this point in time I feel really Good about myself and the things im persuing right now. but Its such an unfamiliar ground that I dont even trust it! I feel so much nervous energy boiling and that wants to show color! and fuck something up! U know how your ears suppsedly ring when somebody thinking about you.? I feel like Satan is thinking about me right now and setting a trap up for me. Should I ignore it and concentrate on my current happiness or address it and fight it? or is that the trap? I really dont know… I feel a slight bit of my crazy creeping up on me. I just ask God to continue in his favor
“crazy” adj.. defintion
5. Informal . intensely anxious or eager; impatient:
8. likely to break or fall to pieces.