Scared; The New feeling~

the Word of the night real quik might be scared. Lol. letz not give a whole day of focus but Just real quik. check my scared out.

Definition of SCARED

: thrown into or being in a state of fear, fright, or panic

I really like to pride myself on being so fearless because I am. Ill do what I want when I want how I want with no regard to any reprucussion of turbulence. But I was on my new Suzuki the other night and went down this lonely ass street in Riverside Agua Mansa between Riverside and Rancho. and I sooooo mf shoook. and I really got back in touch with all the things that Im fearful of.

so First on the list is Agua Mansa that shit was sooooo scarrry because I didnt no what to be prepared for. I was really expecting and anticipating annnnnyyytthingg to jump the fuck out at me or on me. I really thought about Wolves and hitting a Deer or some wild mfz just waiting for some dumb mf to come down that street to fuck with smh. I really aint have no reason to go that way just on some explore type shit. but I really aint been scared like that since i was 6 or 7 smh. heartbeatin like a mf. lol. I felt like a lil bitch the whole time. I was way to scared to ride fast and way too scared to ride slow. THere wasnt a single mfing light for about 5 miles!  not one just my lil weak ass motorcycle lamp. the Lil road fall under and through some lil hills and fields so the shit was scarryyyyyy I aint no what to expect lol.

I guess in reflect to the things Im frightened of I would have to say fallin off this motorcycle high speed. I took a dive last year off my first motorcycle and shit was terrible. I was only doing 30.  I was coming up Riverside Ave (my Fav mf Street on Earth) on my way to The Shop(starrs A cut Above) from RCC football practice and some lil senorita (Jennifer Lopez was her actual name smh) driving like a senorita do swung in my lane and put ya boy down fast!! smfh.  I slide head first baseball style about 10-15 football yards with basketball shorts on. smh.

my new bike is a monster 2002 suzuki gsx-r 1000. That shit scare me to death that the possibility of my death is fa Sho everytime I hop on that mf. so I try to respect that and Ride with that cautious respect. My peeplez tell me to be safe when they see me on it and I really take that deeper into my considerations. ya digg. Motorcycles is all of that fly shit but Way more of that dangerous! every month I hear somebody familiar with, died on they bike.  If they aint dyin they gettin extremely fucked up.

So Lately I been taking deeper into consideration of my death. I really felt that I never been frightened by death or my own death. I felt like I always lacked a reverence for my own life. I felt like everybody go. so why would my own going be such an event. Truly the shit aint matter to me.

but In revision It might be in addition to views on fatherhood and other maturity and growth but honestly only since I got on these Motorcycles have I now become such fully aware of the daily possibility of my death and developed a reverence for my life and decided that I do give a fuck and i aint ready to go yet. straight up and down. Im really not tryna die on a Motorcyle. for real. thats not what my life about at all.  So with that in determination I really have changed  speeds in my lifestyle. Not everything is so urgent and intense to me anymore. I really feel like the high risk and high speeds on the these Motorcycles have set me closer towards a good balance of myself to where im conscience of my life’s sustainence and making daily decision to maintain. I think the ability to ride these Motorcycles in a calm controlled fashion has been the calm to alot (not at all, its all)but alot of my underline Wild ass “Wild Boy” spirit that has been at times a detrement to my own Self Development and progress.

So yea never before until now but Im scared of dying particulary on a MOtorcycle. Truthfully to god Im scared to get Hurt again on these muthafuckin bikez smh. that Gravel aint nobody’s cool.

As I said I always felt fearless. but now I think I have a couple or three. 1st Agua Mansa. 2nd Falling off my motorcyle. 3rd  I fear teaching my son to be to Hard for success in this changing soft ass society. smh.  but Ill write about that shit soon……thanks for Reading this… Gritz …100 …..


About The Gritz

Ideally I aspire to be a Tyranny of Business and perspective. I cant tell you descriptively how I feel... so I'll tell you the depths of my thought. thanks for reading.

Posted on 08/29/2011, in Mark Anthony Howard, Word of the Day and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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