When Couples have Different Values…reblog from our 2 cents
This just a re-blog that i liked from my good friend chris and his wife’s blog our 2 cents http://thechrysdurans.blogspot.com
You can’t pursue a future with someone who has different values than you do, without lying to one of two people:
You could lie to yourself. By definition, a value is something that has worth. So maybe you lie to yourself and say that you think certain virtues have worth, when in fact, you do not believe it. For example, if you profess to value fitness and end up getting serious with a marathon runner this issue will come back up. When you present him with triple fudge brownies the night before a big race, and he does not indulge you in having one, you will have a problem. There are many reasons we claim these values: perhaps we grew up with them, or they make you sound better, or it’s just easier to claim them than to craft an argument against these pesky values. Whatever the reason, at some point one must confront one’s self and critically inventory what really counts. Usually, your time or money habits are good barometers for these things.
You could lie to your significant other. Maybe you claim a certain set of values and do think they are worth something. But by omitting these values and letting the other people off, you are essentially being deceptive. This is harsh, because we’re always told it is important to live and let live. But at one point in your life, this issue will resurface, like when sharing finances, or worse, children. When Billy wants to stay home with Daddy, because the Cincinnati Bengals are playing at 10am instead of going to Sunday school with you, it might be too late.
Before dating Chris, a friend that I truly admire sat me down and explained this concept, because she had been there, too. And after figuring this one out and being on the other side now, I am so blessed to be married to someone who is completely different in interests, but wholly committed to the same values. My hope is that I can share this one little lesson with other people who are still in the thick of it, frustrated and disillusioned about what makes a relationship work.