Monthly Archives: August 2012

I just Wanna Win.

The more I read the more I want to write. I feel so deeply but I feel deepest that I dont express it. I dont know how. My lil writing is the closest thing I have to a full expression of myself. Im so fuckin moody on the inside. I really feel myself “swinging” from mood to mood. I wish I knew how to be more productive of my talent. I dont wanna do shit but Win. Im tired of grindin to grind to grind some more. I need to see the fruition of my thoughts and my ideas. I hate to be a nigga that just think about big shit, talk about big shit and never do shit. I really need something big to happen for Mark. Im too tenacious an internal persona, I feel like a fuckin volcano and I really feel a boil inside me that either need to cool or erupt. I cant play cool when Im hot no more. I cant play cool when I feel cold no more. I feel icey as fuck right now. I dont wannna fake socialize with no fuckin body right now. I just wanna be Mark. I just wanna Win.


Ode to fresh… | Cold Label

Ode to fresh… | Cold Label.

You can ask a million men why they groom themselves beyond basic hygiene, and you are likely to hear as many reasons as the people you ask. But there are a certain few.. that LIVE for the vibe that a fresh cut, smooth skin, honeycomb waves, fresh kicks/gear, and/or nice accessories give them. The cats that recognize,understand, & respect the power and influence a well groomed don commands. This goes out to all the iron-every-shirt-every-day dudes… the old toothbrush for your sneakers folks… the keep your car windows cleaner than the car players… and the swagged out natural spinnin brothas & sistahs…live fresh

“mother to son” ~ Langston Hughes

“Well, son, I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor —

But all the time
I’se been a-climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark
Where there ain’t been no light.
So boy, don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps
‘Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now —
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.”

― Langston Hughes

Letterz to Na’Sham #0

What up baby Boy. I just wanna leave you everything I have, everything I know. Everything I am, Everything I been i just wanna leave you all of it. Shit really aint much but hopefully you can grow from it. I just wanna tell you I love you baby. Everbody says shit like that loosely but I say it in regards to who you are and who you want to be. I love all of that in you . I love the possibilities of you. I love the capabilities of you. I just hope I can be a sufficient enough guidance for you to be everything you need to be. Ive never felt scared of anything regards to my life but raising a son in regards to his life scares the shit out of me shame.

Alot of my relationships have been fragile and I love too hard so I break that shit up fast. I dont ever wanna hurt you babyboy.  ask anybody, Outside of me and you I dont give a fuck about anybody feelings, especially if they have too many. So I pray that you are of some of my same make up cause I feel all by myself sometimes. I can relate to anybody but I feel fucked up sometimes of how little people can relate to me.

I let people run with inaccurate jugdments and perceptions of me because “Like I said” I dont give a fuck how anybody feel about mark.  but I want you to have the most accurate perception of me because your judgement is the only one valid to me son. You the only person I feel I truly concern myself of enough to care what you think. I absolutely care what you think. I have some fucked up mannerisms and perspectives that I wanna convey to you but I dont want to portray in you. For real baby boy you can just use me as an example and pick and choose the  traits you wish to develop for yourself. I just always wanna positively reinforce the value of being your own person. There’s a billion mfz on earth but theres only one Na’sham. just be you daddy. I hope I can help.  I love u peace.

Earl G. Graves

Earl Gilbert Graves,Sr. is an  American entrepreneur, publisher, businessman, and philanthropist. A graduate of Morgan State University, he is the founder of Black Enterprise magazine and chairman of the media company Earl G. Graves, Ltd. Graves is nationally recognized authority on black business development.

In 1972, he was named one of the 10 most outstanding minority businessmen in the country by the president of the United States and received the National Award of Excellence in recognition of his achievements in minority business enterprise. He is also listed in Who’s Who in America and was named one of 200 future leaders of the country by Time magazine in 1974.

Today he is chairman of Earl G. Graves Ltd., parent corporation of Earl G. Graves Publishing Co., publisher of Black Enterprisemagazine—a business-service publication targeted to black professionals, executives, entrepreneurs, and policy makers in the public and private sector. Black Enterprisemagazine has been profitable since its 10th issue and yearly sales are steadily increasing. The magazine has a paid circulation of 500,000 with a readership of approximately 4 million. Since 1997, the magazine has been a five-time recipient of the FOLIO: Editorial Excellence Award in the business/finance consumer magazine category.

In January 2006, Graves named his eldest son, Earl “Butch” Graves, the company’s new chief executive officer. The promotion of Graves Jr. to CEO represents the transition of Earl G. Graves Ltd. to the next generation of leadership. His formal title is president and CEO. Read the rest of this entry


We never give up.  We never stop believing that we will not only survive adversity, but we will conquer it, becoming wiser, stronger and better in the process. We refuse to surrender our hope. – Earl G. Graves Sr.

happy Birthday Eric.

my lil brother Eric would of turn 22 this week. Miss my boy. my lil fam miss him too. We always start having mini problems around his birthday or the day he died. Shit would be alot different if he was here.  I loved his life. I even be kinda jealous of him sometimes. All he ever did was drink have fun, and mack bitches. lol. The day before he died I cut his hair and he told me to live life and have fun. Im tryin lil bro. shit is hard tho. shit aint really that fun without him.  Sometimes I wanna go to sleep and wake  up wherever he at. life sucks without you bro bro. Happy Birthday. I miss u. I love u. Have Fun.

Dear Seau.. Rest In Absolute Peace My guy.

Check it out. I hate writing about “trendy” topics. When something is trending people only have an oppinion on it because its just something to talk about not because it is relevant to their concern. That is why all the concern dies when a new trend topic pops.  Anyway I like to consider things thoroughly before I chime in with an oppinion or even a perspective view. So the thing I really been concerned with and disturbed by for some time now is the suicide of Junior Seau. 


Tiaina Baul “Junior” Seau Jr. was a linebacker in the National Football League (NFL) who became a San Diego sports icon. Known for his passionate playing style, he was a 10-time All-Pro, 12-time Pro Bowl selection, and named to the NFL 1990s All-Decade Team.

Seau retired from pro football in 2010. A standout on San Diego’s only Super Bowl team, he was later inducted into the Chargers Hall of Fame and the team retired his number 55. Seau committed suicide with a gun shot wound to the chest in 2012 at the age of 43.

I just really cant imagine the type of things that he was feeling to make him resolve in his own death. I think suicide is a build up long before the actualization. It really makes me sad to think about how his life ended, and the things people said him negatively. Suicide is such a taboo in our society but it happens everyday frequently. Junior Seau is just one of those people I wouldnt have expect to do such a thing. Ive never met the man, but I personally feel like I need to know why! For my own growth and development to maybe stay clear of such a fate, I need to know what he was feeling on his heart and why those things escalated to such a resolve. I just really feel like I miss the Guy. I definitely wasn’t anybody important in his life but I truly feel like some relative perspective that may be essential to my life, died with Junior Seau.  I think this of J Seau weekly.

rest in paradise my guy. I hope your free of the pressures you may have felt. Life is not all the jubilee some try to portray it. I pray for you and anybody who may resemble your heart – amen

“Real life is not what You things you post on facebook. Real life is the private struggles we go through with few people to relate and understand. S/o to everybody dealing with real life issues in private.” #godBless – The Gritz


Fontana Class ReUnion 2002

The Fontana Class ReUnion was an absolute hit. Heather Barenchi did an absolute job of planning, coordinating and hosting such a exciting event.  Ms. Barenchi not only hosted and coordinated also left a great in impression. I had never met Heather in highschool. So in my first meeting of her tonight she was all of sweet, pleasant, fun, professional, and real rolled in to one gorgeous young lady. Just as a spirited classmate I was really proud of her commitment and execution of such an event like this. I have talk to many other alum of Fontana High and there graduation class had no Reunion. So In meeting Heath

er I really felt bad I did not participate and help as much I may have should or could. So as We spoke I promised my support anything in she may regard for our class and school. I would Just like to be the first to recognize her effort with a THANK YOU!!! and just as well a GREAT JOB!

Id also like to thank Tiffany Steward, Koby Blankson and Travis Davis for the invitation to the lil after function. haha. Alcohol is good for your body lol.
– Mark Anthony Howard Read the rest of this entry

mY Grey Ladie

Cynthia been my lil grey thing for long as I can remember. We met in 7th grad and she been my favorite thing every since. I only have productive relationships. We have been one of the most productive relationships Ive ever had. Our Most Recent accomplishment is My mommaz LVN Nursing license. I so proud of my young lady. I really stuck with her through all the lil bullshit she went through in pursuit of her license And I just wanted to acknowledge and Congratulate Mz Lady on Her success and progress as a Beautiful, young, intelligent women. I wish u all the best momma. Muah.

Matty Barnez iz my guy

I fukz with Matty Barnes. I like real people and Matt barnes is a real guy. He has problems just like regular dudes off the court and he dont back down from anybody on the court. I like players I can identify with and Identify with that. I fuckz with my guy.   The Lakers always do away with real dudes that go unheralded that fill tough roles so It frustrates me sometimes to see Matt Barnes type guys move on. so I hope he resigns and sticks around because I love to see players like Matt Barnes get rings. I was really happy to see Juwan Howard win one last year with the Heat. Nobody talks about these guys until theyre in the news for some off the court shit. So Just a lil Recognition for a real guy doing real shit whether u notice or not. S/o to mattY Matt.

In most recent news Matt  a free-agent forward who spent the last two seasons with the Lakers, faces a felony charge of threatening a public official after being arrested Monday night, said Lt. Steve Tobias of the Manhattan Beach Police Dept.
Barnes was arrested in Manhattan Beach after an officer who was aware he had an outstanding warrant for a misdemeanor traffic violation approached him on foot, Tobias said. When the officer attempted to arrest Barnes, Tobias said, “Mr. Barnes did not cooperate and threatened” the officer. Tobias declined to divulge what Barnes said to the officer.  I think thats silly as fuck to recognize a man from his stardom and arrest try to arrest in a non treating non-violent situation.  My guy was out and enjoying himself and and the officer singles Matt out based on his stardom. police do some fuckin soft shit sometimes. I have a hard time respecting bullshit like that. And you fuckin right He aint co-operate I would be like fUck YOU. smh. anyway My boy posted 510000 bail like a g and got on. S/o to real people s/o to Matt. Read the rest of this entry

A Bible book of Mark’z

A Gospel of Mark’z

All Scriptures Inspired of God


1  This is what Jehovah has said. To the young disciple of me If not for your transgression toward good, how could I come? When you yearn for the things that are Good, How could I not come? 2 I am the God who rejoices in the condition of my own children’s Hearts. How could I not come when you Heart’s condition is Good. You have looked for what is good, even in the presence of bad. These are the things the father sees and has rejoiced in. As you believe I shall appear. In your faith I shall appear. 4    For the witness is the one who has saw me. The witless is the ones who hide from me as If I did not come. 5  They shall call on me in vanity and I shall not answer when vanity becomes despair. O lord save me. But I shall not answer. I shall be hidden from there voice, as they have hid from mine.


2  But as for the good witness, He has seen me. He has looked for me long past his vision.  2  He has prepared himself for my stay and I have came. I have came to give him peace. I have came to bless him. 3   For his good heart has brought to me great rejoice in my own heart. That I have made something Good. 4   For me to answer to others “HE is GOOD” and for him to answer to others “YAHWeh is God” he has given me great rejoice. May the blessings of the heaven spill to earth in Jehovah’s rejoice.  This is what Jehovah has said to the young disciple.  5   Let he who is in transgression ease his heart, For God has listened to your hearts condition, He has heard your prayers. 6   And He has been Motivated to answer, for you are what is Good in the eyes of YaHweh. 7   The one who causes all to become has listen to your transgression so that you shall have none for any more days. 8   So rejoice young disiciple of The True God. 9   Your transgression for good has won you favor in the eyes of the Lord.10   Your transgression is genuine but your uncertainties are in vain, for  you are blessed for certain. 11   Continue your faith in the things you are for certain. Worry not of the things that are in the true God’s hand.


3 This is what the True God Yahweh has said. Through the ears of believers I have lived. I have lived in the conscious of the righteous. 2   I have spoken to those I have chosen. And the righteous have chosen to speak of me. 3The will of the young man is nothing without wisdom of God. The same is to be said for  The Wisdom of a young man without the will of God. There can be no balance of man without the two and The can be no man without me. 4   Foolish is the boy who travels into manhood without the shield of God. Even more foolish is the boy who travels without sword! 5   As I have spoken this to all, the foolish still do not hear it, and to them I no longer speak. 6   But I have grown Favor in a Young Boy of nothing whose heart is good. 7   He has shown discipline in the will of god and grown sharpened by the wisdom of God. As A young soldier of mine he has groomed himself. 8   He has trusted in the shield and grown patience with his sword.  9   He is fearless of any man and only fears the true GOD Yahweh. 10   He has prayed for my direction when others prayed for protection. Save us they say. Give to me they say. Use me he has said.  Give me he has said. 11   He has thanked me for his provision when I have given him little. He has praised me for the things others despise. He has remained faithful when it was disadvantageous to do so. 12    He has carved my name is his skin and locked Yahweh in his heart to where I cannot be taken from him. He is the one I shall bestow with my kingdom.13   He is the one that shall lead my people out of the oppression that he has known, such as Moses. 14  He is that one that shall lead my people to civil prosperity and emancipation, such as David.


S.P. #2

In a world where you can be anything, be yourself. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself & the right people will love the real you. You should never have to try hard just to fit in, you’re perfect how you are. Nothing is better than being yourself. Never lose sight of who you are, you were born to be real not prefect. An original is always worth more than a copy. Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. In life it never pays to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself, in God, and in the direction you have chosen.  –  viv c

my Guy Mateo Williams.

Im a baseball head. I like players that I can Identify with. So my favorite ballers are the ones I know. Matt Williams is my homeboy I went to school with. Fam was a stud on the bases, nice with the stick and awesome in the field. Back when Fontana High was Fontana High, Matt was the Guy. In 2001 after a dope senior year Matt was drafted 14th round by the Detroit Tigers . Heres a link to my guyz Minor league stats. just a lil recognition for a stand up guy. Even after ball Matt is just as successful and just as cool raising his first lil baller with his wife Siti. S/o to my guy Mateo. keep up the good work bro bro. #FontanaBoyzUP