Im just Being Mark

I find a way to push away from people with apprehensions of me. because Im all of that shit they apprehensive of.       I dont wanna hurt anybody I just wanna be Mark. love me or leave me…for real. _greyBoyShit

Mark Anthony Howard

I try to be considerate to people and adjust my depths accordingly,  but Shit sad cause I drown alot of mfkz in my shallow ends.

Im highly aware of how uncomfortable I make some people in there uncertainty of me. Im just not the type to disclose everything to everybody. So this is my confession. Im uncomfortable around alot of people. I cant stand when people stand to close to me at the grocery store. I truly need three feet. So when people get too close to me I get uncomfortable and do something or say something to back them off or away. It is deliberate and intentionally but its just genuine. Sometimes I feel like I lose alot of potentially great friendships but most times I feel I filter alot of potentially bitter friendships. I find that the people I scare away are mainly scared people anyway. I dont need that. I don’t need anybody’s apprehensions around me. I’m just being Mark.

Nothing can stop Mark from being Mark. I dont care if it Kills me. This is who I am this is who I have to be. Ive really lacked the opportunities to be anything else,  Truthfully I wouldnt even want to be any other way. The shit is current event to actually feel a superior partiality to being who the fuck I am. Being me has always been my vice now I feel like the shit is my endowment, The reward for enduring through me all those years is being Me this year. Im like a fuckin Rock in relation to my fortitude. I wont budge off shit. I dont give a fuck what nobody say in oppose of what the fuck Mark wants. “If you aint for me… Ignore me” is my favorite quote of myself. I rather be left alone to figure how to compensate my faults than be accompanied by somebody else mouth rambling about irrelevant shit.

Ive seen Nosey people tune in to something they wanna hear so hard. In my mind im the exact contrast; I tune the fuck out on shit I dont wanna hearso hard. This funny nigga that come in the shop got this crazy exWife I told the nigga I couldnt even fuck with her, this the advice he gave me… “when in doubt … Tune it out” haha, funny as fuck huh. Real Shit tho. I truly have trained my ears to only her shit that is applicable productive and relevant to myself and my perspective. If I cant learn nothing from it I dont ever want to hear that shit.

This is my same approach to people I feel. If I cant learn from you I cant, I wont, and I dont, want to fuck with you. I dont wanna waste my time and I dont wanna waste your time. I swear to god I only have productive relationships. And its absolutely because I have such a disdain for trivial shit. If you not about nothing and Im fuckin with you then Im not about nothing so we not about nothing! I just can even be that type of person I dont have the energy to play like that, Im 28, not 8. So all that to say The fastest way to shake somebody that dont fit with you is to keep showing em the part that dont fit. say or do some shit they dont like and people that aint supposed to be there get the fuck gone.  just kinda of a lil filtering process for me. I love to hard and unconditonal not to have that reciprocated in my relationships. I like to be an advocate of everyones true Self so in all my friendships I need/demand the allowance to be all of me. if You uncomfortable with some of me then get the fuck away from all of me or give me my space when Im being that some. I promise to god its nothing personally malice towards you…. Im just Being Mark


About The Gritz

Ideally I aspire to be a Tyranny of Business and perspective. I cant tell you descriptively how I feel... so I'll tell you the depths of my thought. thanks for reading.

Posted on 09/07/2012, in journalz, LateNight rantz, Mark Anthony Howard, quik writez. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Hey I'd love to hear you feedback... leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: