Reading my own writing
As I’ve said before my writing is simply a map of where I’m at perspectively and document to myself to revisit. Kind of like the door marks of childs height as he grows.
So as I re read some of the writings I’m really shocked at some of the verbiage and the harshness in some of the feeling conveyed. I really catch myself saying wow as read. I admire the honesty and love the perspective, because it is consistent, raw, authentic and original. All of my writing truly is a gritty perspective. There is so much abrasiveness in my early writing. I didn’t notice such a tone. But it is blantant and abrupt. I almost want to apologize for how unapologetic some of the entries seem to protrude.
Especially in my grandpopz funeral. Im shocked to read how hard I went with no malice intent and such a nonchalant and balanced tone. I’m a cold brotherat default. It’s really crazy how true everything I wrote was but I don’t think I would write anything so heavy if I re wrote it now. I guess it is growth or maybe just different styles at different times. But there is definitely a lighter tone between gritz 2013 than gritz 2011. Especially more expressioniate without explicits. I guess I just didn’t give a fuck. lol.
I love to read that rawness. It allows me to relate to that feeling inside me without having to express it. Or act it out. As I grow I find I can live vicariously throw my writings instead of actually reliving the fucked up cycle of feelings, emotions, circumstance, and lifestyle I was stuck in.
I’ve escaped my harsh perspective, freed myself as a spirit, and bettered myself as a person through my writing. And as I re read my own writing I see what such unapologetic honesty has done for me as a progressive man. Thanks for checking my shit out. The rawest of writers – gritty mfkn gritz lol.