Category Archives: My PeepLe (my People)
Just Loving Regards to some Good Peeple Ive Met thru My life time
Everyday I think about my sister. I miss her too much to express. I feel I may never recover from the hurt Id feel If I really let myself go into the emotions my sister’s death provokes in me.
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My child I haven’t abandoned you. I haven’t let you go.
I imagine your smile. I imagine your talent. I wanna be your manager. Joe and Janet shit. Lol. I promise to prepare for your life. I promise to prepare for your needs. I ask that you may live in my heart until I provide a space for you. Please forgive me for delaying your blessing. I promise im here for you and I promise I want to be your daddy. Please comfort me with your thought and take comfort in my thoughts of you. I anticipate your joy and your adversity and take pleasure in guiding you toward Gods understanding.
This week we had ur lil “weak sox” banquet. I made the lil book for all the kids and none of they asses showed up. Except famous. All that shit and only one to appreciate it was u.
U said it was the best book I ever made lol. I thought that was dope. U a lil Jr asshole but u sweet af sometimes. Especially when u able to express of just suggest appreciation. I always appreciate that shit right back.
I really coached that weak ass team just to look back and say I coached ur first baseball team. I loved being able to do that for u baby. I think ur really gonna be a dope player. It was really dope to see u take to it and want to get better. U the only one on the team that actually got better and u were at least a year younger than everybody. So I plan to write and add a dedication page to u daddy. I’m super proud of u and how good you’ve gotten after just one season. U play with you heart and your chest and some grown men never learn that.
Baseball is dope to learn because it’s so applicable to life. “Politics and principles.” Smh. Gotta learn that to win in life and in baseball k.
It’s 4 am and I been reading and writing crazy shit all morning. Love u lil bro. Muah.
S/o to my momma…
I was soully truthfully but I really went hard on my mother in an acknowledgement to her in my book, The ABCs of a Black Man’s Principles.
It had nothing to do with the book or even I how feel about my mother now. It’s just something I wrote and ended up published. I have a hard time explaining and justifying the presence of such harsh address in the book at all.
I contemplated, considered, and sought perspective on whether I should take the two paragraphs out all together.
I felt bad of it sometimes and proud of it at others.
What up dadda? I haven’t written nothing to u in a while.
I hope these little scripts to u serve as time capsuled from now to u presently. Id like that u read these and find them as affirmations to the love u feel from me.
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Somethings happen to quick and abruptly for me to process fully. The thought of Antonio’s death is one I’ve been trying to subconciously avoid because it really disrupts my focus and mental stability.
I can’t wrap my mind around his death and his absence. I know Tone is gone but I still hear his voice. I still see his smile. I still half way laugh and half way shake my head at some corny ass joke he telling. I feel like I just talked to him yesterday. We was just talking about school at Mt. Sac. How the maro push and pulling the bike out for summer.
Its been some months already since Tone been gone but even as years pass I don’t think I can full grasp it, cause I can’t seem to shake the feeling he was just here. I feel like he just left my shop and I just cut his hair and I can’t even miss him because I feel like Tone was just here. He can’t be gone?
Rest in paradise homie. A lot of people get forgotten about when they go. U still heavy in a lot of your real peoples minds. I think that will always be the case. god bless ur memory, your friends that love u , and ur fam homie. Peace.
I got a cool email from one of my favorite aunties about my little big cousin Owen. Cecil Owen Williams II is premier prep athlete and now NCAA College Football student./athlete. An area article was published of him this month prior.
His pops is a champ so it seems he’s filling his genes in well. Proud of u cousin and super congrats on so much positive progress. His Mom and Pop, Cecil and Karen, are some of the best parents ever. It’s nice to see such a positive fruition from a wonderful structure of loving parenting.
Here is the email from my auntie and her paste if the article …. Read the rest of this entry
I’m going in with my man J.peezy. All these fad fitness boomers and pussyfitness tips are fraudulent. Men shouldn’t train like women and no two women should train alike. Every workout should be personally “Taylor’d”
J. Peezy is a psychology/kinesiology major who has won countless weight and fitness competitions with his coined “all natural” dietary meals, lifting, and exercise. The boy is an outright Championship Beast!
I will be featuring myself(The Gritz), J.Peezy’s, and D’ Mclean’s effective and practical Taylor’d fitness’ tips to include in your personal diet and exercise or to encourage you to enroll in their Taylor’d 4 U personal training program.
Damn I think about you all the time fam. All the Letterz I’ve sent have returned and I hate that I havent heard from you havent spoke to you and don’t even know how to reach you.
I don’t know what’s up with marc and I always made sure that was the case. Even when u stopped fuckin with certain mfkas we and you stayed on and I figured that shit forever.
I’m sad for you. I don’t know how my boy doing, where you at mentally or where u at spiritually. I want to say I’m praying for u but u haven’t at all. I wouldnt even know what to ask for or what u need from God.
Shit just sadness my heart and my whole spirit that you so far gone but you not. I really feel like I lost you. You wasn’t everybodiez to lose. And that shit make it even deeper. You was my fuckin peeplez marc. And u still is. But im just so fucked up I can’t find you and that I don’t even know what’s what with my fuckin g that I commited to forever being concerned of.
I want to aid you, I want to console you, I want to save you fam. I just want you to know I love you and I think about every week with the same wonder, worry, and sadness. I miss u bro bro.
Stay safe and stay up.
Uncle im sad and confused. I want to be strong and confident. I dont know how to communicate my situation or my state of mind.
Im so many positive things that people dont know of and I want to convey that.
Its very hard to convey my positivity internally when theres so many negative instances atop of me.
All I know how to do is pray. Right now I am praying that me and your relationship may bud into the some of the healing love Ive always needed from a relative Man.
I really need you uncle. Forgive me for being embarrassed to say so. Ive always wanted to impress you and make you proud. Forgive me for being in such a position short of that.
I need my uncle to know what Type of Man his nephew is and show what Type of Man Im relative to.
Im too hard. Show me how light of a strenght your are so I can calibrate myself accordingly.
I love you, im proud of you and I need u.
I never imagined how much time and dedication goes into such a position until I watch ms Nishe struggle and scratch with so many negating issues to underline every published issue. Managing an entire staff, their egos, editing their papers, Damn near writing their papers, and actually writing their papers that they didn’t write! Go ahead shay.
I wish I could of helped her a lil more but I couldn’t deal with all that shit lol. So I just watched her fight and deal and succeed in her own dramatic fashion Everytime. And the shit was very impressive to me. So what up shay? I’m super proud of u and I just want to acknowledge what a great fucking job you did this spring momma. 100.
My fam is taking over College Campus’ across the Nation! lol. Super Congrats to my super cousin. Im super proud of you for completing your Associates Degree. I know how challenging life has been for you at different times and I admire your fortitude and dedication so much for sticking to and thru with all of your goals and accomplishments. Thanks for setting such a great example for me. I love you and im proud of u. Mark
I keep thinking about my big sister. Most people that only know me lite weight never even knew I had an older sister. She a lot of my closeted truths. She something else. She is so genuine and so loving but she so fucked up and so losted. I really be worried about her.
I don’t feel like I pray enough for her, do enough for her , or try hard enough for her. But the shit is so sad to me because I don’t think anything.I do can help my sister. I wanna help her so bad.
I hate to see her sad and lost and doing the same shit that she been doing since I was 13. I want her to do better so I try to tell her the best practical shit I know to say applicable to her.
I know she hear me but she ain’t the type to listen. So the shit just frustrating to me. How can u help somebody that need ur help but don’t want ur help?
She don’t even know how to help her self Smh. (Pause…. This George Benson vinyl album I bought is so bangin!! Haha …) Sorry. But I’m starting to get over it.
I think that its sad that my sister is fucked up but how sad can the shit be if that’s all she want for herself. I think that as an accountable adult you ultimately get what you deserve for yourself.
U all u wanna do is repeat a fucked up cycle then u deserved to be fucked up. Grow the fuck up sis I love u but all the cheering and believing that I’ve done with you and for you has left me fucked up sad and I’m really disappointed.
As much as anyone has ever believed in you, I have. As much as anyone has ever loved u I have. And as deep as anyone has ever cared for u, I have and I’m so fucking disappointed in you and fucking mess you becoming. I have faith in God but I don’t believe in bullshit. I hope he’s able to reach u through all of yours. I love u and I still ain’t judging u. But my own growth won’t allow me to continue justifying all the bullshit u put yourself and the people that care for u through.
I remember concurring with you that our mother was at fault for a lot of your habits. I still think she may own some accountability but how the fuck can somebody be more accountable for you than you are for yourself?
I truly love u baby. I ain’t no better than you at all. But you know how hard I go on myself so If your shit was my own Id say the same shit…. stop making excuses stop fucking up. Read a book get your Shit together and grow the fuck boo. I love u —Anthony
Riverside County, California — March 16, 2013
Officials say a motorist died after crashing his vehicle into a tree in Beaumont Saturday afternoon.
According to California Highway Patrol, 28-year-old Matthew Pettegrew of Fontana was traveling in his sport-utility vehicle on Interstate 10 near its intersection with Pennsylvania Avenue when he lost control around 1:40 p.m., left the roadway, and struck a tree.
Mr. Pettegrew died at the scene. He was not wearing his safety belt at the time of the wreck.
Officials are conducting an ongoing investigation to determine the cause of this incident……..
Rest in Paradise to my boy Matt Pettegrew! On march 17th I woke up to a text asking have I heard about Matt P. My heart sunk immediately anticipating that something may have happened to him. I called a couple close friends that were closer friends of Matt’s only to receive the worst confirmation of my worries. My homie Matt died this Thursday March 16 in a car crash out in Beaumont. Im not sure of the details but Im so sad my such a good dude is gone and Im again reminded how fragile anybodies life is. Such a Big and Gentle guy never deserved such a fate. I love bro, thanks for always loving me homie and Ill miss you as long as Im alive. rest in paradise -Mark Howard
I hate so dearly to see people lose the people that they love so dearly. I just want to pray out loud for my guy Kelvin Moore and the amount of strength I see him manufacturing in process of losing his father. Most people have some type of recentments or some type of regrets towards parents and letting them go stirs some type of anger or bitterness. This is not the case at all in regards to Pastor Moore Sr. His son Kelvin has to deal with passing memories of great guidance, loving expressions, and remnants of a Great Dad that truly cared for him, his siblings, and anyone he ever came in contact with. It’s hard to let people go, but Its evident in Kelvins spirit that it is even harder to let GOOD people go. All of my love and blessing to you big brother, your fam, and the console of the void in your soul. I know you’ll miss your pops forever, and I absolutely support you in your remembrance of him and your grief for the loss of him. Love, Respect, and Regards Sincerely. your friend.
Mark Anthony Howard (The Gritz)